Why we lie in a relationship

Trust is the most important thing in relationship, but somehow, sometime we cannot avoid to lie. If you someday caught your spouse lying, don't just straight away yelling or asking to break up. What you have to do is to find out why exactly she/he lie to you, trying to discuss what is really happen to both of you. And perhaps those lies is triggered by your own behaviour/action.

I guess there are some reason why people lie in a relationship. Lets see *some of them is based on my own experience*

1. To many rule

Sometime, some people make a deal that actually prohibit their own freedom.  

For instance, man forbid his girl friend to not speak with other man or maybe disallow his girlfriend to go out with other people but him, vice versa. Although this rule is agreed by both of them, no one in this world likes to be ordered by someone to do something. We might feel depressed by such ridiculous rules and somehow you feel like i want to be free. O fcourse you don't want to leave him *because you love him* because of these rules and yet you lie. you still need some space to do whatever you want to do.

2. Afraid of being critique

Everyone need a support from their partner. If the thing that we always got is a critique of what we have done or sometime when we make a mistake, our partner even blame us, lies is the only way of not getting any critique or getting blamed.

3. A self defense

People lie to defend their self defense. Some people just don't want to be seen as a weak person. Or maybe to avoid a punishment or negative views from other people.

4. Depressed of always being monitored

Being monitored or stalked also one of the reason why we lie to our partner. Usually we are afraid to make our couple get upset or even angry of what we do.

5. Acceptance

People will not just accept the way you are easily. So that, sometime we have to lie just to please our couple and always be good in front of him/her.

Overall, Lies is caused by fear of hurting the person you love. You are afraid to make them angry and afraid to lose them. Understanding is the only ways to deal with this problem. And of course as a partner we just cannot make a rule just to satisfy our ego *do not be selfish*